Honestly, though, I think that I'm starting to get to a point where I'm beginning to let go of some things. Some of my childhood dreams, I'm actually letting die because they aren't really what I want to do with my life now that the time has come. The first one was football. Now, the appeal of flying fighters is more of a fleeting fancy than a real desire. Maybe that's a good thing, though. Maybe, if I tried pursuing either of those things, I would've ended up miserable because the reality was nothing like what I'd expected it would be.
I still stand by my belief that growing up sucks. But at the same time, I don't think I really want to stop now that it's begun. I don't think I want to go back to being a kid anymore. I'm not enjoying the process, but I think that I can actually learn to enjoy being an adult. I'll always wish that things were simpler, but things can only get more chaotic, not less. It's just the way the world works.
Not entirely sure why I just wrote all this down, but lately I've had a lot on my mind, so I needed some way to clear my head. Tried running, but I'm so out of shape that I've been sore the last three days. Tried drowning my thoughts out with music, but sometimes that just amplifies it and makes things worse. Then I remembered why I write. That when I write it lets out some part of me that's been trapped. It's how I cope with life, and it's how I keep my thoughts straight. If these past two or three weeks is any indication, I'm going to need this site a whole lot for the remainder of this semester.
