One of the most frustrating things, I think, is to see someone struggling, and to know that they need help, but they refuse it. To know, by experience, the fake smiles, the false enjoyment. That moment when you realize that someone who used to confide in you has given up talking to people. Whether it's just an attempt to deny the issue, or they feel, despite many assurances to the negative, that they're a burden. They try too hard not to hurt anyone, or make anyone worry, that they end up doing exactly that.
On a similar note, I wonder why there're people who don't believe in long-term friendships. Or maybe people worry too much about whether this friend or that friend are short-term or long-term friends, that they really miss the point of the relationship in the first place.
I'll admit, I'm notorious for the automatic withdrawal if I'm worried about getting hurt. The trick is realizing when you're doing that. Sometimes, it's not a lost cause, but to give up and withdraw guarantees that the connection is ended. Or at least irreparably damaged.
It's always worth wondering how your actions and decisions are impacting those you care about. And watch what you say: the ones who care about you most don't accept people bad-mouthing you, and they don't care if you're the one doing it. It WILL upset them, and most of the time it's MORE painful if the words are from your mouth.
The late teens-early twenties are some of the hardest years so far. Everything changes on a year-to-year basis, if not more. Change is good, but too much change leaves you lost with no direction. Finding which things to hold on to, and which to let go isn't easy, but it's necessary. Humanity craves stability, but it also requires change. Balance is the only way to be happy. Or as close as we can get to it.
So keep your head up, and hold on to what matters most. Grades, accomplishments, awards, mistakes; they all fade. Time can't be recovered, and you only have so long to make the connections that matter. Fear can't make your decisions for you. Trust me, I know.
"Don't you leave him, Samwise Gamgee. And I don't mean to." -Samwise Gamgee, Fellowship of the Ring
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